Not our Daddy

So, today, after a long and drawn-out shopping trip where my husband, 2 kids and I fought the wandering hoards of human debris to return and purchase items of absolutely no significance we passed an accident. No big deal. Lights flashed ahead of us; we pulled over to let 2 cop cars through. At first it looked as though the sea of blue and red would not part and we'd have to find an alternative route home. Mostly I was annoyed by the delay. It had been a long weekend and I really just wanted to be home having my Sunday nap.

I was being short with the kids when they asked what all the commotion was. MD was pulling on the back of my seat to get a better view and the scene ahead was just one more distraction in an already distracting day.

Not that I could blame the kids for rubber necking. Even a family on bikes had come out to see what was going on. A woman and 3 kids straddled their bikes on the side of the road, not the least bit concerned that they were in the way of the emergency vehicles trying to get through.

And then as the cops cut the traffic into one lane and let a few straggling cars get by I saw what had happened. Just to my right, not 10 feet away, lay a man stone cold on the road. The kids saw it too. I realized then that the biking family were not mere spectators, but witnesses to the accident. The victim their father, and husband.

Our car passed by fairly quickly but that 10-second image is something I will never forget. Dark brown hair, gray sweater and jogging pants; he was laying on his side, face turned away. His body was deathly still, a police man crouched beside him. Someone had put a white blanket under his head and it was soaked in a dark crimson.

MD said, "That's the dad who got hit mom." And I said a silent prayer that this would go away, not just for the unknown man's sake, but for his family, and for mine. I didn't want to think about mortality and how all of our hopes and dreams can be ripped from us in the blink of an eye.

So I said my silent prayer that the man would be okay, even though I knew he wouldn't. And I prayed for the family that they could be strong and not scared, even though I knew they couldn't. Then I took some deep breaths and reminded myself that I was okay, that everyone I loved was okay...this helped my anxiety some, until I heard Lou Lou say very quietly from the back seat, "I'm glad that's not our daddy."

Suddenly it hit all at once. It could be. For someone, it was their dad. Where moments before they had been a family now they were victims, lives changed forever. As a mother I live in a false sense of security, I think I have to to cope. I tell myself that if I make everyone wear helmets and seat belts and look both ways before they cross the street that I can protect them. Nothing can break my safe cozy bubble I keep wrapped around us, at least that's what I tell myself.

The truth is, we are all just one bike ride away from destruction in one form or another. Nothing we do can protect all of us all the time, and life is precious. I knew that today, and I've known it before. I'm sure there will be other shopping trips that get under my skin, times when my children are not my favorite people; life is just like that. But tonight, with my babies sleeping soundly in their rooms and my husband here with me, I am thankful for the fragile gift of life and in awe of the respect that it deserves.

The Eye of the Tiger

Uncle's Rock Star X box game- $200

Grandma and Papa's TV- $900

A cousin sing-a-long- Priceless

TRADITION!

Tradition runs strong through my veins, and never is it more evident than on a major holiday. Thanksgiving morning started with tradition the moment my eyes opened. MD and Lou Lou woke Charlie and me by climbing into our bed and we turned on the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. We stuck it out for almost the whole three hours, just the four of us, two dogs and two cats on one king sized bed. About the 34 time one of the dogs spilled hot coffee on Charlie he asked, "Why do we have all these beast again?" The kids and I just laughed and I reminded him that they were to enrich our lives. To which he replied "oh" and mopped up the coffee off his chest.

Tradition continued all day, and more than once I felt like breaking out into Fiddler on the Roof...Tradi-t-i-o-n. And since, according to the official "Book of Tradition Rules" it only takes doing something two years in a row to become tradition, we have built up quite a few.

Pictures tell it best......

The kids table...classic tradition!

Relatives doing the bulk of the cooking...I love this one!

Auntie's ginger bread house's..each family gets one.

Love the football thing!

Over eating..you have to right?

And....... decorating for Christmas! This is my very favorite!!

Last but not least, turning off the lights and viewing the tree. I say it every year, but this time I mean it. This is the best our tree has ever looked....thanks to the day after Christmas sales last year, you guessed it, another tradition!

• I hope you all had a blessed day and gave thanks for much, whatever your traditions are!

Animal quote Monday

"A critic is someone who comes onto the battlefield after the battle is over and shoots the wounded."

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Home

The dictionary defines "home" as one's place of residence, but it is so much more. We have all heard the hundreds of cliches, home is where the heart is, there's no place like home, home sweet home. I am sure you can think of dozens more. And this time of year every commercial on TV urges us to go home, or buy something for the home, re-do the home so that your relatives will be impressed. There are candles, and food, and decorations designed to tug at our emotional purse strings, and yes, I have several of said items spread around my house. But none of these sayings, or purchases create a clear picture of what home is.

It can be all of those nice things. It can also be a mess, a bore, chaotic, loud. My home not only has the pitter patter of little feet, but sometimes the banging of doors, or the voice of frustration. Sometimes it has that deathly silence, you know, the one where you and your spouse aren't talking but you both know you need to.

Our home can be many things, depending on the day, the mood of the 4 inhabitants, the weather or even the season. But there is one thing home always is to me, and I hope for my husband and children too, and that's safe. Safe to be cranky, safe to be vulnerable, safe to be sad. We all need a place where the best of our personalities as well as the worst can surface and we will still be loved!

Spamming Around

These were some of my first students...they are 19 now!!!

whipped cream cheetos toss...don't ask.

Star power!

Jr. high class way back when..these kids are getting ready to start college now!

Look how seriously we took class.

So for the last umpteen years I have been a youth leader at my church. There have been many, many fun and wonderful times. The teenagers have taught me so much...and not just about God and life. Did you know Brittney Spears got her start on the Mickey Mouse Club?

Donald Duck inspired many of our youth to take up music...especially guitar.

I have been blessed to work with other leaders who were fun and childlike them selves. One of the very funnest times in my life was 4 years ago when Diet Coke, our pastor at the time, I'll call him Donald Duck, and I, were in charge of the junior through senior high at church. We spent many Wednesday nights playing stupid games that we strangely felt very competitive in. We developed a bond among the three of us that you can only get by working with a semi-dysfunctional group.

Guess which one puked before the night was over.

There were many nights of trash can basketball, scoot (a stupid, and frankly dangerous chair game) and also some good God content mixed in. There have been many trials and tears working with the youth, but also some great bonds that are still strong today. I would not trade a minute of it.

Starting last September I felt God calling me a different direction. I felt pulled toward the younger children...very young. After 7 years with Jr highers I moved to preschoolers. I love the little ones as well, but every now and then my heart yearns for the silly care free Wednesday nights with the youth group who was really teaching me about God instead of the other way around.

Spam Sculptures from last night

Last night the youth group had their annual "lock in". That is where all the teenagers gather at the church, we lock the doors, and hang on for a wild ride. If you are a kid it's great. If you are an adult, it can be hell. There is a no sleeping rule that is strictly enforced. Anyone dumb enough to fall asleep regrets it in the morning. Sharpie markers are used to prove a point, if you follow me.

Even though I am no longer their youth leader, I was honored when some of the kids asked if I'd still come. The kids there last night were in early grade school when I started working with youth. Many of the kids I started with are off and thriving in college, and I always smile when I think about where they came from, and the secrets I know about them.

first or second winter retreat...I forget.

Here are some pictures from last night's lock-in and also some moments in time from days gone by. To all the youth and youth leaders that have taught me what I know about teaching and life, thank you! That door in my life may be closed, but the memories will stay with me for a lifetime. Youth Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what happens if you take Diet Coke's diet coke in the morning!

Diet Coke at her 40th birthday.

It's Alway's Funner with Diet Coke

So besides my fantastic and devilish handsome husband, there is another "significant other" if you will, in my life. Though we often tease about being married, and for a while the youth group at church called us a couple, we are in fact, just friends. The "just" in that has substantial meaning behind it. As in, she is "just" the person I need to talk to to scream and vent. And "just" the person to make me laugh when life sucks.

I met Diet Coke (I'll call her that because she always has one in her hand) in a church group 8+ years ago. I am not sure what our original connection was. Our views on religion were different at the time, over the years of spiritual growth they've come pretty close to center for both of us. We were not close in age, she is 15 years older than me, but only in number. So really the only thing I can think of is that our souls recognized each other as friend.

And friend is exactly what she has been. With the exception of my husband, there is no one else I feel as comfortable talking with and sharing with. We do a lot of laughing, we are both witty. And we also do a considerable amount of complaining. But whatever it is I am doing, it is always funner with Diet Coke!

Great Moments in Literature

And now for something I'm going to call great moments in literature, where I will periodically post some of the wise, funny, offensive or otherwise note worthy things I read. I love books and written language. Words intrigue me, fill me.

This is an excerpt from my all time favorite author, out of my all time favorite book. The book is called Bird by Bird. By Anne Lamott. If you have not read this book I would suggest you stop reading this post and go buy it. I can't even say what I find so wonderful about it, but even after the umptenth time reading it, my fingers still move over the pages as if it were an ancient sacred text.

This is a poem by Phillip Lopate, and the moment I read it I knew it was written just for me.

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.

Your analyst is
in on it
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since or Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as the natural center
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective whole.


This is definitely a great moment in literature...and who hasn't felt like that every now and then?

Tonight...Adventures in the Jungle

There was a time when I saw things through the eyes of a child. What does Paul say? "When I was a child I thought as a child, and when I became an adult I put away childish things." Something like that anyway. But every now and then I wish I hadn't put those childish things so far away.

MD and Lou Lou built another fort today. There is nothing new in that. It happens 3 times a week or more. Every pillow, every blanket, every stuffed thing in the house makes an appearance. There is some fighting over who will engineer this particular project. And who will be the first to enter said fort, but mostly there is just a lot of giggles and laughter.

Today was no different. I was making dinner. They were busy upstairs. I was relieved that for the moment they weren't under foot and close to a hot stove, or dragging mud over the fresh carpet. The relief is temporary because I know that if they are quiet, something messy is taking place just out of my line of vision.

Sure enough, Jungle Fort 2008 was being constructed. At its peak, it was a grand thing. Two tunnels and a large middle room thingy that was supported by my Kirby and the laundry basket. MD and Lou Lou were so proud. I tried to smile and say how creative they were, but honestly, all I saw was a mess. A mess I would have to fight them to clean up because dragging out is always more fun than dragging back.

Somewhere, way down deep, I remember pillow forts with my brother. In our eyes it really was a jungle, or train, or desert hut, whatever we happened to have seen on TV that day. And I am sure we did not like to clean it up, and I am equally sure our mother hated it, though I don't recall her saying so. But to us, it was magic. For a moment we were not children with little choice in our own life. We were heroes, villains, Indians and so much more. We were learning cooperation and team work. We were fully alive.

So, tonight, instead of making them tear down the fort before they could eat dinner, it stayed up. Well, some. The dogs gave it a bit of a beating during a game of "I can get the cat first." And after dinner it stayed up too. In fact, it is still up and they are sleeping in the off shoot. The "tree loft" if you will. Sorry Paul, tonight I am not ready to put away my childhood things, not my kids' anyway. Tonight I will not see a big mess that is all out of place. Tonight I will see a jungle fort, and two heroes, worn out from taming monkeys and lions. Tonight I will see life through child eyes again. Then I will give them each a kiss on their soft chubby cheeks, play with their hair for a minute or two and put an extra blanket over the explorers...just in case it rains in the jungle tonight.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A little preliminary work

Sassy is not my name, but it aptly fits. I am a married Burnett with two children. For my blog I will call them Cindy Lou Who, or Lou Lou for short. And MD, partly because those are his initials/nick name, and partly because he's so smart and will undoubtedly become a high priced doctor someday who will take care of his aging, yet surprising frisky, mother. My husband I'll just call Charlie, and I'm going to keep it a secret as to why.

Charlie, 7 year old Md, 6 year old Lou Lou, and I all live in a lovely little house exactly 4.7 miles from downtown No Place Special. Most of the time our life is uneventful, luckily I write well and lie a lot so no worries on being bored here. We also have two dogs, Banjo and Dolly, two cats, Jack and Poncho, and two rabbits, Princess Fluffy Bunny, and Fluffy. I have not changed the pets names, but I bet the bunnies wish I had. To be honest it took me a minute to remember their names because the kids haven't looked at them twice since the first week we got them and most of the time Charlie and I just call them those damn rodents, as in,

Me- "Did you feed those damn rodents today? "
Charlie- "No"
Me- "Neither did I"
Charlie- "Do you think the kids would do it?"
Me- "I don't think they even know they still live here."
Charlie- "Flip a coin?"
Me- "I'm tails"
Me- "Damn, I always lose."

So that's us. We laugh a lot, cry sometimes, fight others and every now and then we are halfway serious about anything, and nothing.